The Second Question
Answering our core question, "What Do You Want?" changes nothing until you ask yourself and answer the question "What are you going to do to get it?"
Hope Is Not a Strategy
Fabled football coach Vince Lombardi, who led his Green Bay Packers to win Super Bowl I & II is most often credited with saying, “Hope is not a strategy!” Clearly, he had the right idea.
For the past year, we’ve been asking, “What do you want?” and talking about how to go about figuring out the many answers to many forms of that question. Hopefully, you’ve come up with some great answers along the way, determining exactly what you want.
At the moment you had one of those great realizations, what was the very next question you found yourself asking?
What Do You Need to Do to Get It?
Nothing comes to us just by wishing for it, so once you know what you want, you need to determine what you need to get to do in order to get what you want.
Depending on exactly what it is you want, the answer to that second question may be simple. You may simply need to order it online! Or you may need to visit a local shop to purchase it. Or a not-so-local shop.
If what you want belongs to someone else, there are several things you may need to do to get it from them. If they want you to have it, you may simply need to go pick it up from them. If, on the other hand, they’re willing to sell it to you, you may need to negotiate a price. If that price is very high, you may need to obtain funds.
If they don’t want you to have it, that’s where the challenge begins. You have choices. You may offer enough in return to convince them to part with it. Failing that, you may need to consider stealing it. Perhaps you can simply go make one of your own whatever it is you want.
What Do You Need to Have in Order to Get It?
To this point we’ve been talking about getting “stuff.” Physical things.
But what if you’ve figured out what kind of job you want to get? Before you start to figure out what you need to do in order to get the job you want, you may have to figure out what you need to have. You may need to have specific skills, or specific educational experiences. You may need to have certification of that education. You may need specific credentials.
Going back a step, what do you need to have in order to get the education you may need to get the job you want? You may need to have achieved specific grades in school, or test scores in excess of a specific target.
If what you want is to be a musician, an artist, or some other creative role, you may very well need to have talent in that area. You also may think you need to have things that you really do not. For example, you might think you need to have hands, but there are artists who paint or sculp beautifully holding their tools between their teeth. There are musicians who play their instrument with their toes. The only thing they needed to have was perseverance and the indomitable will to do what they felt the need to do. You may need to be innovative and able to “think outside the box” like they did.
What Do You Need to Say in Order to Get It?
It may be advisable to begin with what you don’t need or want to say to get what you want.
In almost all cases you probably don’t want to demand it. All too often making demands only drives the person you’re making demands of to redouble their resolve not to give it to you.
Ask
You may simply need to ask for it! If what you want is the saltshaker at dinner, simply asking for it should almost always result in it being passed to you. Almost always…
Looking for Love
If what you want is the love and affection of another, it is likely that the very last thing you want to do is to ask for it. Begin down this long road by thinking about wanting something from someone who already loves you. Perhaps you want your children or other relations to call you more often. Asking them repeatedly to do so may result in their acquiescing and doing what you ask. But wasn’t what you really wanted was for them to want to call you?
When what you want is the love of another, you’ll very likely need to say many things over an extended period of time and try your best to avoid the many things you really shouldn’t say. Don’t compare them to others, even favorably. You do want to tell them about yourself so they can get to know who you are. This is important for them to be able to determine if they want to love you. But don’t keep going on about yourself. There are many things your intended needs to see for themselves that can be negated by you talking about it.
Oh, and you very, very likely don’t want to say lies.
What Are You Willing to Do to Get It?
When I talk about “the second question,” this is the question I’m really referring to. When you’ve determined what it is you want, you need to determine what you are willing to do to get it. How long will you be willing to persevere if need be? How much are you willing to expose yourself to the opinions of others? How much are you willing to give up of what you already have?
How far are you willing to go?
Going Forward
I started writing “What Do You Want?” because I wanted to explore the role of intention in our lives. Everything begins with an intention, which often manifests itself as an idea. Only you can decide how much you’re personally willing to invest in that idea.
At this point, I’m going to ask you if one of the things you want is to continue to read these explorations, and if you’d like to see them go deeper and wider. I’ve identified many “What do you wants” that will show up here in the future. The comments, questions, and other feedback many of you have been gracious to share with me have inspired even more.
Some will benefit from deeper research, and some may even involve the talents and contributions of others. It is my hope to be able to expand this adventure in these and many other ways. But I will need some help…
Become a Patron of “What Do You Want?”
Many other Substacks require readers to take a paid subscription in order to keep reading their content. That’s definitely not what I want to do here.
I’ve been a professional freelance writer for fifteen years now and, no argument, it is preferable to earn your living by writing and getting paid for it. The challenge is that most things you get paid to write get paid for by sponsors or advertisers. My journalistic efforts like The Evolving MSP and The Citizen Developer are definitely paid for ultimately by advertisers in the publications they each appear in. This definitely influences the content I write. Even though my editors insist that my work is purely editorial and up to me, at some level I want to keep those publications in business so I consider what I’m saying very carefully.
I Want to Write for You
Substack gives writers like me the opportunity to market my content directly to readers. Directly. No advertisers. No sponsors. Never.
But I have no desire to persuade you to subscribe. Before my freelance writing career I spent 35 years managing sales and marketing. I’m confident that I know how to convince people to buy from me. That is the last thing I want here.
What I do want is for you to consider how much value you get from the writing you find here. Is it worth paying for? Is it enjoyable? Is it informative? Is it valuable?
Does it get you thinking?
And there is my ulterior motive!! If you’ve been reading here for any length of time you’ve heard me talk about living a life of service to others. The service I most want to render successfully is to get my readers to think about the things I’m talking about. And I’d love for that to result in a conversation!
The Four R’s
There are four things I’m asking of you here, and each happens to begin with the letter “R”.
Read “What Do You Want?” regularly. Everything begins there. You will always be able to access the written content here for free. Everything will be in front of the “paywall.” If you’d like to recognize the value this content brings to you, simply subscribe! Subscriptions are $5 monthly, $50 yearly, or you can make a “Founding Contribution” of $150. You can always end your subscription at any time, but you will always be able to read everything here on the site. You should only pay for this content as long as you find it worthwhile.
Review “What Do You Want?” publicly or privately. Your choice. The most valuable thing you can share with me is your opinion. Do you like what you’re reading? Dislike it? Are there other things you’d like to see here? Please help me become a better and better writer.
Recommend “What Do You Want?” to everyone you can think of. If you consider “What Do You Want?” to be valuable, please give your friends and others the gift of reading it. You can certainly give them a gift subscription, but simply referring it to them will be greatly appreciated.
Respond to things that you’d like to talk about. The great writer Stephen King, in his amazing book On Writing, explains that writing is mind-reading. The writer sends their thoughts, and the reader reads them. I’d love to make that a two-way conversation. If an issue is important to you, let’s encourage everyone to talk about it. It’s easy to comment below.
“What Do You Want?” contributes a percentage of revenue to support conquering the global climate crisis, which is helped by another four Rs!
Thank You
Thank you for being a reader of my work. Thank you to the many of you who have taken the time to share your thoughts and opinions with me during this first year.
And thank you in advance to all those who choose to become a patron and supporter of “What Do You Want?”