What Do You Consider Ho-Ho-Holy?
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all ‘cross the net Everybody was wondering what presents they’d get……
At this time when just about everyone is celebrating their holiday, it occurred to me to ask what everyone considered to be holy.
Holiness is one of those things that everyone kind of defines for themselves
There are people who consider their morning cup of coffee to be a holy tradition never to be missed or delayed.
Many would agree that life itself is holy, though some have revealed a truly unholy regard for other people’s lives. We’re often called to wonder why those people find it acceptable to be so cruel, so truly inhuman to others. They’ll point at religion. They’ll point at politics. They’ll point at land to be possessed. None of these approaches the holiness of life itself, yet they will compromise the lives of others in their fevered pursuit.
Without doubt there are a vast number of people who hold God to be holy. There are others who don’t necessarily agree, though they will acknowledge that they believe there is a God. The problem is that some of those who hold God holy insist upon everyone else doing so as well. This has led to wars, bloodshed, and many altered electoral results. It’s almost a shame more people don’t consider antidisestablishmentarianism to be holy. It could prevent so much pain and conflict.
Family
Many of us consider our family members to be holy to us. We would compromise anything and everything else to preserve their life, their health, and their safety.
Much of this begins with the acceptance of the holy sanctimony of marriage. Statistics have shown over the years that the proportion of marriages that survive the first few years continues to decline. Years ago couples that actually stay together long term became the exception, rather than the rule.
My parents impressed the holiness of matrimony upon me. Though his early demise cut their marriage down to only a brief nineteen years I could never imagine them apart, despite their constant bickering. Marriage was forever. I’ve found over the past few years that my wife and I are among the very few first marriages among our group of friends. We’re considered weird.
I can’t imagine life without my wife. Our partnership, our union, and our love are the holiest things in my life. And I’m fine with that. And so is she. Beyond the shadow of a doubt that is the foundation of my strength, my courage, and my willingness to continue living. She, my sons, my grandsons, and my daughters-in-law are as holy to me as anything could possibly be and that brings me great comfort.
Where family has broken down in my experience has been along my extended family. When I was young I thought the communion between I and all my aunts, uncles, cousins, and others was a holy arrangement. We were a community, a group, a force to be reckoned with.
As time has passed, more and more of my extended family fell away. We lost contact. We moved on with our separate lives. We disappointed each other and failed to forgive. Some treated each other shabbily. Others became overwhelmed with the difficulties in surviving everyday life.
I turned around in recent years and discovered how many members of the extended family I knew as a child had passed away without my awareness. Not just aunts and uncles, and not just first cousins, but some of the next generation had lost their lives sometime along the way. We were so disconnected that it had taken years for me to find this out. I remembered all of them, and if you asked me why we lost contact I could not possibly tell you. I find something somewhat unholy about that. And very, very sad.
The Never-Ending Story
DNA all but assures the continuation of each family’s story, and that is something I consider holy and wholly underappreciated. I’ve come to see myself as the continuation of my father’s and mother’s life stories. I’ve learned more about their respective parents and even, in some cases, grandparents. This has brought the lifeline we share into my consciousness and that is also something I find comforting.
Then I turn my gaze forward and can feel the holiness of my relationship with my sons. They are clearly the continuation of my story and their sons, my grandsons, are their continuation as well as mine. The holiness of this continued unfolding has brought a whole new and different level of holiness into my life, and this has created some true surprises.
For one, I have always known myself to be a prideful, aggressive, ambitious person bordering on unbridled arrogance at times. For all of my life up until now I could not imagine wanting anyone to ever be more successful than I. I was bent on being the best. Given the relative passivity of my own parents many have always found this surprising, inexplicable, and awfully obnoxious.
Fifteen years ago I determined to make my own life’s dream come true and launched my career as a freelance writer. This has brought me more gratification and satisfaction than I have ever known. It is, by far, the holiest life I have ever lived. But…
But I can never say that I’m a remarkably successful freelance writer. I’ve done well. I’ve had wonderful assignments and engagements with clients, and I’ve been published fairly widely. Some tell me that I’m well known in the industry I have loved for all my previous career. But nothing world-shattering.
Now, though, I have to turn my gaze upon the careers that my twin sons have pursued. At 40 years of age they are both very successful young men. One is a dazzlingly successful entrepreneur and the other an executive in one of the world’s largest corporations. The entrepreneur followed his passion for sports and created a business from it. He is recognized at the top of his nascent industry. The other blended his passion for technology with his passion for business operations and skyrocketed through the same industry that I did, flying much higher than I ever did.
Both are, in fact, far more successful than I have ever been. I, in turn, was more successful than my father. Each of my sons has one son of their own. Experiencing my two grandsons I’m willing to wager that they will exceed all of us. I’ve come to believe that this is a holy path and I am thrilled and thankful to have travelled it.
And, In the End…
So here I am writing in what can be considered the home stretch of my life. I’ve watched many of those who taught me and mentored me along the way as they have aged. This has clearly revealed the path awaiting me. I cannot deny that some are nearing the end of that path, and I will not be terribly far behind them.
The Buddhists encourage us to embrace impermanence and accept that everything comes to an end. What I consider to be the holiest creatures to walk the earth, dogs, have helped me to learn how to accomplish this. I have loved and lost a dozen canine loved ones throughout my life, and see the day approaching when my current pack must move on
And even this end of the journey is something I consider holy. I often pray that the unknown ahead of us will actually be more similar to my best imaginings than my worst. Life indeed is holy. Living it accordance with what we ourselves hold holy is the only way to truly celebrate that holy gift.
I wish you all the greatest joy during your holidays, and great good fortune and success in the coming new year.