What Do You Want… to Connect With?
Determining who and what we wish to connect with is a major contributor to how we build our sense of self, who we are, how we define ourselves and present ourselves to the world.
American psychologist Abraham Maslow defined in his Hierarchy of Needs the psychological need to belong, to have affection and love, and to be connected to family, friends, work, romantic relationships, and more.
The importance of this sense of belonging is underscored by the recent introduction of the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline which, “provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.” More information about this invaluable service can be found at http://988lifeline.org.
But family, friends, work, and romantic relationships are just the bare beginning of the many things people feel the need to be connected to. And determining who and what we wish to connect with is a major contributor to how we build our sense of self, who we are, how we define ourselves and present ourselves to the world.
Yes, There Is an “I” in Team
In fact, there are many of them. Every team is made up of several individuals who each refer to themselves as “I” but align their individual needs for the good of the collective group. For example, most basketball coaches will agree that the better player will pass the ball to a teammate with a better shot at the hoop rather than take the shot themselves, gladly forfeiting the chance for personal recognition and prioritizing the better opportunity instead.
One of my favorite team memories came when I was playing waterpolo. I played goalie and during one of our games an opposing player committed the infraction of coming into my “crease.” He then exacerbated the violation by pushing me under the water and then further down with his feet.
The magic came as I saw literally my entire team jumping into the water or swimming over from wherever they were to, well honestly, to avenge me. The welling up of pride and happiness was the truest expression of “team” I’ve ever experienced. In that moment I learned a lesson that has lasted a lifetime.
Connecting with Community
Teams are not the only kind of group people want to connect with. There are many other kinds of communities that attract different people for different reasons.
Most people think of geographic communities first, where they live. Some residents of any given city, town, or neighborhood assign a great deal of importance to actively participating and making significant contributions to their local community. They attend city council and other meetings of their local government to better understand the issues and add their voice to the discussions. Most municipal events are organized and produced by local citizens.
A recent New York Times article quoted a study from the American Immigration Council and Over Zero called the ““Belonging Barometer,” which found that “64 percent of Americans reported non-belonging in the workplace, 68 percent in the nation and 74 percent in their local community.”
Communities are often formed around common interests too. I sometimes sense my being part of a large writing community. Friends tell me about their revelry in the community of artists.
Shifting Gears – Connecting with Your Beliefs
Its safe to say that many people spend a major proportion of their lives trying to connect with their own personal concept of God. They desperately want to have something greater than themselves to believe in, and to have hope for some continued existence beyond this life. Some pursue this through organized religions. Others turn inward to seek their truth. Still others find different methods such as ingesting hallucinogenics and other drugs.
And, contrary to popular perception and rhetoric, there are those who attempt to find God through science.
I’ve previously reported here in “What Do You Want” on how learning about the functioning of the human scrotum first convinced me of the existence of God. I couldn’t imagine such an elegant design being the product of evolution. Somebody had to have designed that mechanism. For me, that’s God, the ultimate designer, builder, and maintainer of everything.
I’ve also previously discussed, in that same article, the singular question I’m obsessed with. “What was there before there was?” They say the “Big Bang” created the universe. Okay. So where did that happen?? If there was no universe yet, there really was no there there. So where did that happen?
This led me to firmly accept that there are things that I cannot comprehend. I cannot form any point of reference to help me better understand it. And I find comfort in the idea that God could be one of those things. The fact that I can’t comprehend how or where God exists doesn’t mean I can’t find connection with God. On several occasions I have come very, very close to accidental death. In each case I clearly felt the hand of God preserving me, and I believe there was reason for that which I haven’t encountered yet. This brings me incredible peace.
So, connecting with the metaphysical is every bit as important to many people as connecting with the corporeal. Thinking about this always stimulates my curiosity. What does it do for you?